I sleep write. It has only happened once so I don’t know if that’s enough times to make a diagnosis. According to articles and forums on Google it is a condition which is usually a symptom of sleepwalking. It is said to be stress induced which is very accurate in my case. When I woke up I vaguely remembered having written something on my phone but I also had a feeling it had happened in a dream. When I opened my notes app, there it was a clear sentence I had typed out just a few minutes after 2am. I was immediately overcome with fear and anxiety. The sleep walking connection was especially scary because of the shocking stories of sleepwalkers doing reckless things ( driving in the wrong lane) which they later did not remember. I don’t think these emotions will help to alleviate the condition. The idea that I can be awake with a “sleeping” brain is very hard to comprehend. I thought I should write about it in case someone else has also experienced it.
I have decided that the key to my daily happiness is having something to look forward to. Sometimes it’s as simple as knowing my sister is on a school recess and I will have a jogging buddy for a few weeks and some days it’s getting an idea of something to write about. In university a friend of mine used to make fun of me for this because the something to look forward to was usually food. I, like most people love food, however, being a township girl and having been raised the way I was, did not have much exposure to different foods.
I once spent months calling anyone who annoyed me a goulash when I first learned about the dish. I’ll admit when I first ordered it and with no clue what it was, I assumed it was something fancy and that gave me something to be excited about. So imagine my disappointment when I received my plate from the cafeteria lady and I discovered it was just a variation of beef stew. The interesting name had not lived up to my expectations, however, now I had a funny way of resolving disagreements with friends. I can’t think of a situation where “Your face is a goulash” wasn’t an effective conflict ending comeback.
In high school I was excited about getting back graded tests because I almost always scored above average. These days I look forward to getting doughnuts on Sunday afternoons. My sister usually goes to the mall after church to get them. So now Sundays have become my favourite day of the week and for a reason most people would never expect or approve.
I have always known about dates but had never had them until only recently. They have joined my list of favourite dried fruit, they are right up there with raisins. I even looked up how to grow them but the process seemed too complicated for my small garden. Speaking of my garden, another thing I look forward to now is checking up on my seeds to see if anything is shooting out of the ground. The anticipation is enough to keep me smiling until I fall asleep some nights.
This way of thinking is definitely keeping me happy because I spot the opportunities that keep fueling my sunshine.
No, this is not an essay about running. Although it might be given that it involves escaping commitment. I am a girl who frequently finds herself in long distance relationships. So much so that l have come to love them. I like the idea of speaking on the phone for hours, it gives me the desired intimacy without taking away the comfort of my personal space. I have become a slave to my personal space.
I love my boyfriend so much because he is such a good guy but that is not the only
main reason for my love for him. I am so taken with him because he lives in another province, more than three hundred kilometres from me. These metres of road and open land keep me very content and satisfied with the relationship. They give me peace of mind and even more importantly keep me excited to talk to my boyfriend which makes him happy and satisfied too (I hope).
But even in long distance relationships there comes a time when phone calls and photos no longer suffice to keep the loneliness at bay. This is when things usually begin to fall apart. I don’t know if it’s the snoring at night or the calls from colleagues and friends or the unexpected kisses, but in the midst of all this I find myself desperately longing for that long distance.
I have always liked being independent and choosing what is right for me but in relationship you have to consider the other person in your decisions. There needs to be a compromise between personal space and companionship. But for now as the Long Distance Girl, I get to have it both ways.
I love writing but not as much as I love reading other people’s work. So I am trying to improve my writing by using what I have learnt from reading. I struggle with finding the right adjectives so please bear with me as I navigate my way through that. Another hurdle is the fact that English is not my Home language nor did I study English as a First language in high school. With that said, I invite you into my journey of writing as I go through life.
My life has hit a bit of a pause since I graduated from university but I find myself exploring new things as I go through my venture of getting more Sunshine in my life. I am to take on gardening, fitness and trading among other things. I also know people who have invited me to come along their journeys of acquiring their Sunshine. I will be putting my developing writing skills into documenting that too.
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